Wednesday, September 01, 2004

do you accept visa?

i was worried the answer would be "No!" see...last Friday i went up to DC to apply for my visa for India, the only country i must apply for while still in the states. While usually not a big deal, i was concerned nonetheless as the tickets had already been paid for. i got up at 5am to drive 200 miles to DC, parked at the metro station, took the red line to dupont circle, hailed a cab to the 2500 block of Mass. Ave only to....arrive at the embassy 4 minutes after the cut off time. As Johny "Guitar" Watson said, Ain't that a bitch. i stood there staring pathetically through the glass door,locked from the outside, at those who had made it inside on time. Then, as someone exited the building, i took th eopportunity to slip inside only to be immediatly told off by the bureaucrat in the sari behind the counter. "We arrre cloooosed! Whooo leeet you eeen heeere? Geeet out! NOW!". hmmm....not very shanti shanti. i must have been mumbling something aloud about having just traveled 200 miles because a sympathetic Indian woman takes up my case in Hindi with the woman behind the counter. The burocrat listens a moment and then shifts her gaze back to me. "Deeed you not heeere me! I seeed we arrre cloooosed! Now geeet out and come back Monday!" So much for a good first impression. Monday i fare only slightly better. Hoping my new friend has the day off, i return to the embassy (nice and early this time). Of course, she does not and is there to greet me with a knowing look. I muster all the charm and pleasant vibes i can, knowing, as with any soverign nation, the right to accept or deny access to their country is taken quite seriously. With a greeting and a smile I hand over my completed application, 2 duplicate photos and a copy of my itenerary. She takes them from me without a word and begins to peruse my app, checking to make sure it is filled out correctly, i assume. "WHAT DOES THIS MEAN, 'increase cultural understanding', she says inflecting a mock smarminess as she reads my answer to question 29, What is the purpose of your journey. I stare back confused, trying to determine the cause of this irritation. ooooooooh.....riiiiiight. see...in a poor attempt to distinguish myself form the bulk of tourists in the visa class for which i was applying, i had answered question 29 with "to increase cultural understanding" shit...a pronoun to clarrify would have been nice. "NO, NO, NO," i said suddenly getting it, "I meant MY cultural understanding.....Not YOURS." "Ooooooh. OK," she said relived to find out i was not some cultural imperialist missionary headed to her mother land with the intent of teaching her people a thing or two about baseball and reality tv. Not hardly. Five hours latter, visa granted, 180 days, multiple entry, first crisis avoided, namaste.